Fellow time travelers: if this is your first End Times run, please join our orientation at the Aztlan meetup on 21 December 2012 pre-reset time. Content may be disturbing for post-2271 visitors.
FYI Travelers from 2307 are NOT welcome. I hope you get stuck in 2035.
Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute.
Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Naboo.
While the Congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict….
“Your computer restarted because of a problem” Why does the French translation mention “Eiffel tower” and”Mona Lisa”??? Why does the Swedish translation contain “Ikea” and “fish”??? Why does the Japanese translation talk about “anime” and “weebs”??? Why does the Chinese translation randomly just say “rice”???
So here is my back story of my memories of cooking salmon on a gas stove. It all began on a cold winter night. Our dad had just left us and our mom was crying over a piece of salmon. She just kept on crying and crying. Me and my sister were getting hungry and tired of our mom for not moving on right away. So we told her to shut up and make us some grub on the old and barely working gas stove, which will be important to this story later. Actually no, it won’t. Forget about it. I don’t want to drag this story on for too long. After several hours of non-stop crying, the power goes out due to it being a very snowy winter night. That’s when me and my sister got super pissed at our mom, because if she had stopped crying several hours ago, we would have had our salmon that would have been cooked on our gas stove. But then a few minutes later the power comes back on, so me telling you that the power went out was kinda pointless. After that, our mom realized that she had been cheating on our dad with someone else better, who still wants her, despite her cheating, so she grew happy again and decided to tackle the salmon with her world famous salmon recipe that had been passed down from our family from generations, from when the first gas stove made to cook salmon was invented. But before she started cooking, she told me that if she ever decided to leave randomly with her lover, that she cheated on dad with, she wanted us to know how to cook salmon on a gas stove so the house would not explode. But before she could tell us anything, our sister insisted that we should watch a movie to lighten the mood first. We had just rented a movie from Blockbuster. Remember when that was a thing? We popped the DVD into our Panasonic DVD player and hit play. It was pretty good. The movie was about a bee. I forgot the title of the movie, but I remember the entire movie script word-by-word. Knowing all of this information is important to cooking salmon on a gas stove, so I will now recite the entire movie script to you. Here I go: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. […]
(where’s the recipe?!)
Actually, I lied. I’m not gonna recite the entire script of this movie because my MacBook Pro can’t handle all of this text. So here’s the recipe.
Ingredients: 1 Salmon 1 Pan 1 Gas Stove
Steps: 1. Put salmon in pan 2. Put pan on stove 3. Turn stove on 4. Cook until done
And there you have it! You mastered the art of cooking salmon on a gas stove. Thank you guys for watching, comment like and subscribe, and I’ll see you guys later. Bye!