hiiiiiiii…. hi-hi-hi-hiiiiii~~

This is a motherfucking website.

And it’s fucking perfect.

Seriously, what the fuck else do you want?

You probably build websites and think your shit is special. You think your 13 megabyte parallax-ative home page is going to get you some fucking Awwward banner you can glue to the top corner of your site. You think your 40-pound jQuery file and 83 polyfills give IE7 a boner because it finally has box-shadow. Wrong, motherfucker. Let me describe your perfect-ass website:

• Shit’s lightweight and loads fast
• Fits on all your shitty screens
• Looks the same in all your shitty browsers
• The motherfucker’s accessible to every asshole that visits your site
• Shit’s legible and gets your fucking point across (if you had one instead of just 5mb pics of hipsters drinking coffee)

Well guess what, motherfucker:

You. Are. Over-designing. Look at this shit. It’s a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobytes to your fucking site, and some motherfucker jabbing at it on their iPad with fat sausage fingers will never see that shit. Not to mention blind people will never see that shit, but they don’t see any of your shitty shit.

You never knew it, but this is your perfect website. Here’s why.

It’s fucking lightweight

This entire page weighs less than the gradient-meshed facebook logo on your fucking Wordpress site. Did you seriously load 100kb of jQuery UI just so you could animate the fucking background color of a div? You loaded all 7 fontfaces of a shitty webfont just so you could say “Hi.” at 100px height at the beginning of your site? You piece of shit.

It’s responsive

You dumbass. You thought you needed media queries to be responsive, but no. Responsive means that it responds to whatever motherfucking screensize it’s viewed on. This site doesn’t care if you’re on an iMac or a motherfucking Tamagotchi.

It fucking works

Look at this shit. You can read it … that is, if you can read, motherfucker. It makes sense. It has motherfucking hierarchy. It’s using HTML5 tags so you and your bitch-ass browser know what the fuck’s in this fucking site. That’s semantics, motherfucker.

It has content on the fucking screen. Your site has three bylines and link to your dribbble account, but you spread it over 7 full screens and make me click some bobbing button to show me how cool the jQuery ScrollTo plugin is.

Cross-browser compatibility? Load this motherfucker in IE6. I fucking dare you.

This is a website. Look at it. You’ve never seen one before.

Like the man who’s never grown out his beard has no idea what his true natural state is, you have no fucking idea what a website is. All you have ever seen are shitty skeuomorphic bastardizations of what should be text communicating a fucking message. This is a real, naked website. Look at it. It’s fucking beautiful.

Yes, this is fucking satire, you fuck

I’m not actually saying your shitty site should look like this. What I’m saying is that all the problems we have with websites are ones we create ourselves. Websites aren’t broken by default, they are functional, high-performing, and accessible. You break them. You son-of-a-bitch.

“Good design is as little design as possible.”
- some German motherfucker

I. AM. BREAKFAST!!

yo this house is uhhh… banana

beli beli beli… beli spikoe… bliblibli..
blblblblblbliiii……

🐡

Ye

HUNDREDS OF NONSENSE

Kehidupan kuliahmu dimulai pada waktu Oweek.

Siri, lack of compassion and we give birth.

What’s you?

Good news, sense is no longer mandatory!

So we are simply hasn’t been using the ones that are still not possible.

How many mouth people are there?

Warning: this platform contains entries some may find distressing.

vote and otherwise be a good citizen

so now we’re making ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK music

Esmerelda’s chicken!

How do you feel about living this far?

simon i know ur on here 4736 PLEASE let g REDACTED u

get bready for more naansense

这不是, 这不是, 这不是不是不是…

In minecraft it’s completely normal to rob innocent long nosed humans of all their belongings and take their furniture and then enslave them

how to tell cats are liking eachother
they w at eachother

Minecraft just be normalizing trespassing

me go eepn’t

cats just ~w~ near me

October 25th - an awareness day

i have cats purring in my dms

How do we know if someone or something is genuinely feeling like that? We don’t know, and that might be the point.

Revolusi industri, kapitalisme, Technology, world peace

Belajarnya pakai: AI

my mouse is doing a disgrace

tapi kita butuh mbeeeek mbeeeeek

My muscle broke.

this󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 might󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 look󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 like󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 a󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 completely󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 normal󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 nonsense󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 entry󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 but󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 it󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 is󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 absolutely󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝 not

My hair is expiring.

󠁛󠀣󠀶󠀳󠀵󠀰󠀷󠁣󠀬󠀣󠀲󠀹󠀱󠁥󠀳󠀶󠁝

“Pineapple pizza” in Italian is “ho bisogno di andare in chiesa a confessare i miei peccati pizza”

Hey, I’m a good toilet.

nonsenser max level 300 bro

Bro just typing splish 🤣 💧

Bro just typing fwoosh 🤣 🔥

Blender neutral bathroom

Patata chips

Apple silicon? apples contain no silicon

• What’s up?
• The opposite of down

[Being] “curious” can mean that the person is intrigued about a religion or a particular divine being and decides to acknowledge his virtue, teachings, or the way it contributes towards the societal norms without being persuaded to incorporate or hyperfixate into that specific belief. On the other hand, implicitly being ‘curious’ can mean the opposite. Sometimes irresponsible parties may purposely sneak in unspoken marks. These marks are commonly boastful, promoting and prompted in a mocking and contemptuous way possible.

He is women but she is also men

Congratulations, you’ve hit a wall.

I have successfully scandalized Siri