Man, Gengar could run a train through me.

He REDACTED my boyfriend.

Maui WAUI AIYAYIYAIIIIIIIIIII

Dale? I thought your name was (baby voice) Oochi Coochie Bloopsie Loosie Goosie Tootsie~?

I’m (baby voice) GooGoo DaDa GooGoo BaBa MaMa WaWa TaTa~

I’m sorry, he’s a PDF file?

Boats. What are they?

highly-functioning nonsenser

I’m still grieving capitalism.

We want to let you think about something that you normally don’t think about.

Sunday—it’s the Lord’s day. 🙏

It’s still good to be aware though.

aaaAAAAA TOO MANY HAMBURGERRRRSSSSS NOOOO NO NO NO

Doctor, evelyn lasagna?

To be driven mad upon the rock.

It’s your issue, OK?

amn in saerious debt

Where’d you get 6 seconds? There’s no clock!

Give me your teeth.

With my services, you’ll have a… a… a good time.

Without my services, uhm, you will have a bad time.

Sam says don’t flinch—HAAAAAH

Please open your Jack-in-the-boxes.

Hey, let me tell you: The day I don’t curse when a body falls from the sky, call somebody.

The musical version of edging is happening.

There’s only one thing that gets me through and that’s knowing that you’re always here beside me… in a platonic way???

Dance is a REDACTED! Dance is a REDACTED! Dance is not right. DO NOT DANCE. NO. NO.

H eccrc CV in by ehvvuntcrccjdvghjfghg, crying, fire, crying, de

• Are you healthy?
• Physically, yes. Mentally, no.

I swear, if you blame me for something even as small once more, I will not forgive you in the foreseeable future. You may not judge me—you may only judge yourself, because you matter. You must leave me alone at all times and NEVER disturb except in an emergency. You may keep your peace between yourself should you not disturb.

You you what? no1

the plural of panino is obesity

Baegopa? house of hungry

Ain’t wrong with being nonsense.

You ever heard of a CAT scan?

Shout out to all my followers.

That’s three of my shoes in your shoe.

We saw a hole. Had to check it out.

Oh, overdraft fees on my bank account

Why do I feel dom-ed by the Eiffel Tower?

What do the kids love? 39-year-old men screaming.

We all got our own secret stories. Deep inside, like my secret story is… I think about secret stories.

Dogs. I don’t get them!

Sometimes, it’s a two-scoop day!

Do you ever… get back from vacation and want the vacation to keep going? That’s what my life feels like!

Before you ask, it’s a prescription watermelon helmet. I need it for a very specific yet undisclosed medical issue.

QUICK, get in the spaceship NOW!

I didn’t mean to leave my coffee on the counter.

If I was blind, I could see again.

This has been an audiobook presentation by Penguin Books.