Goddammit my calendar emoji is accurate

Nothing cheers up a man faster than becoming a woman.

Be honest. Why do you have boobs?

Just because I’m an adult now doesn’t mean I’m not capable of being cringe. I’m still capable of being cringe.

You really need to see the Minions in Blu-ray 😭

• My tummy hurts…
• …because your steak was too juicy :’)

Spoken like a true secret billionaire. “My problem isn’t the money. It’s the principle of it all.”

I made a website.

So I made a website and an app that shows you creative text entries with rich formatting and media that is all free and open source.

Wow! So understimulating.

My lobster too buttery!
My steak too juicy!!
My content… TOO ABUNDANT!!!!!

Hot is now officially a new gender

is he the gay ? does he have the trans ?? and what the REDACTED is in his pants ?!!

I speak good Russian, yes.

the sing-songiness of your voice

Everything is normal, just the fact that there are varieties.

Remember that in biology, nothing is not normal.

I don’t really have a reason to argue with 12V going through my body.

I cannot complain about the actual science and history if those were actually true. Too bad that we almost forgot about them.

Yang ragu-ragu… silakan duduk di rumah aja.

Conduct intercourse with yourself

Samseng, what you want, you nak gaduh dengan saya? Ini time.

Fahk yew. FAHK YEW!

The dynamic ö, it’s the dynamic island but with meatball flavor

A bit of kissing action here…

Why would it… be not fair…?

Yep, the tech bros are back to clean your house and even cook for you—all in the name of training humanoid robots to do those same tasks.

Translation: pre-training

But you couldn’t spare the Apple TV?????

LOL, how funny it was to still access all these files.

i am not afraid of apple, but i have tremendous respect for them. s-tier company.

welcome to wtf

No acceptance of parcels or packages

CATS WITH STRIPED SOCKS

非常好 :DDD 谢谢～

看病 (kànbìng) 🧑‍⚕️ 🐐

N爱啦啊啊啊

War.. fast war.

mengartikan sampai meninggal

THREE, BEAT AIR At EATETT

HITHERE? THERE, HER. TA, REDIT

Okay, I got disconnected. Thanks, internet!

No more liveries, only deliveries.

Hi, Pearl! Hi! Did you have a good day?!

MAWWIAGE.

MAWWIAGE is what bwings us together today. MAWWIAGE—that bwessed awangement that dweam within a dweam.

Roast beef?
Twilight?
View dance challenge?
Doc McStuffins?
Candy Marine?

Introducing the dynamic ö

who cares about your urnage

They tried to microwave me.

Must spoil something…

Darth Vader is Luke’s father.

Not everything’s a squishy.

I’m hiding $1,000 in my hair.

Help! my TV is drowning drenched in AI