How to fix a water damaged laptop

Preparation

• place laptop in a pan
• pour water in the pan
• (screen flickers then the laptop dies)
• remove laptop from the pan

Instructions

• wipe dry with a paper towel
• unscrew all screws
• wipe inside with a paper towel
• dry inside with a hair dryer
• cover with rice
• leave rice overnight
• reassemble
• turn on laptop
• (it catches on fire)
• fight fire with towel
• smack laptop with towel repeatedly
• cover laptop with bag of ice
• throw laptop into bucket
• cover with eggs
• cover with ice
• stir
• (still on fire)
• stir
• add water
• destroy bucket
• place laptop in a pan
• pour water in the pan
• place the pan in the fridge
• let it freeze
• take pan out of fridge
• take ice block out of pan
• turn on laptop
• (it catches on fire again)
• fight fire with dust scoop
• slap laptop with towel
• attack laptop with hammer
• bend screen 180°
• attack laptop with hammer
• cover with eggs
• place laptop in bathtub
• attack laptop underwater
• rip off screen
• break screen in half
• take pieces out of bathtub and place on table
• turn on laptop
• (it catches on fire again)
• fight fire with paper towel
• add eggs
• cook rice
• cover laptop with cooked rice
• add sauce
• eat rice (loudly)
• turn on laptop
• (it catches on fire again)
• fight fire with egg boxes
• (success; the macbook is now booting windows xp)