If you feed your kids frozen pizza and chicken nuggets and other frozen foods for dinner you are a terrible parent. I don’t care how busy you are. Find the time. Find the time to microwave them.

As a personal trainer and nutritionist, this is terrible parenting. You can’t microwave your kids.

Not with that kind of attitude you can’t. As a motivational speaker, let me tell you you can do anything you set your mind to do, don’t let anyone in the internet tell you otherwise.

I love optimism but as a clinical psychologist I am gonna tell you otherwise, telling parents they can do anything they ser their minds to is toxic positivity and if you’re struggling it’s not because you’re not trying hard enough, a better message might be “if they don’t fit in the microwave, try the air fryer, it’s quicker.”

As a medical doctor with a masters in nutritional research, I can tell you most air fryers are in fact smaller than most microwaves. So if you’re struggling to fit your kids in either of these, then dip them in seed oils and try the oven.

As a fitness coach specializing in fat loss, I can tell you that cooking with seed oils is a terrible idea, all fats contain 9 calories per gram and baking increases the glycemic index of your food, you should steam your kids to reduce the calories and maintain their nutrient density.

Steaming? Where are you gonna get a steamer that large? As an old fat woman in the Midwest that reviews crazy cooking content, I’ve gotta say the only way to do this is barbecuing. Do it low and slow over a fire at about 250, use a fantastic binder, your favorite meat rub, rotate it every half hour, use some apple cider vinegar and your end result is gonna be out of this world.

As a British man and a connoisseur of the beige buffet, I have to say you lot are putting far too much effort into this. Nobody has time for barbecuing or steaming. If you want decent results, you just need to cover them in a thick layer of batter and then lob them straight into the deep fat fryer. Leave them there for about 10 to 15 minutes until they are nice, crispy and golden brown. Serve them up with some potato smiley faces and a massive puddle of gravy. Quick, easy, completely beige. Stop making life so difficult.